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Subtitles by
Pind de Kalakaar: “Saadey
desh daa, oye, pattaa pataa, yaaro!
Producer (completely losing it – no amount of popping helping now): “THAT’S YODHA, not Yoda!!! AAAhhh why did I ever go into this business? My 4th grade
teacher told me I would make a great gardener but no, no, no, my mother wants me to marry Julie; "Julie’s from upper
family," she says, “Julie this" "Julie that"... I hate you mother... Now
what do I hear now from her sweet Julie huh? "I want this" "I want that"... aaaahhh
booo hoooo... My career is gone! Ruined! – no master plan for the series ...
lawsuit... kids stuck in elevator... what's exciting about that? (mimics a TV announcer) "Be
sure to tune in next time when the kids find out how to unlock the exciting elevator they are stuck in! Don't miss the action,
the drama when they shout for help!!" boo hoooo … O curse be the day I signed up for this series…” The
head of the R & D division pops in his head:
“Hey Chief, we found some really interesting
stuff, wanna hear it?” (looking around - the Flower
Power Gal is now standing on her head on the table, the Pendu Poet has spread out his blanket and is happily snoring while
the Producer is wailing away- decides he ain't gonna get any answers from this lot - continues)
“Turns out the Sikhreht Code book is an abstract of a gurbani-based thesis written
by Masteraani, the (allegedly half-mad) PhD student. The rumor is that she used the interstellar elevator to do her astral
research and get this; she left clues in the book on how to use it. Producer
(aka Mr. Julie in some inner R
& D dude: “She
made 3 copies and the Ridhi Sidhi Peer <snake charming uprising music> has been trying to get his hands on them
ever since. The old-time naamis hid all 3 copies in the keertan hall, which they thought was the safest place around. But
by the time the keertan hall was moved to the second floor, the old-time naamis were gone and someone found the copies and
floated them around. The kids in the elevator have one of the copies - so I'm thinking maybe there is something to the vision
the keertan dudes had. What do you think?” Producer
(now back to normal business self): “OK, that’s great, thank you for the update. I think we can milk this series for a little
while longer. But the lawsuit is going to kill us –
I can explain the Yoda misspelling but what about the Jedi part....” Flower
Power Gal: (while still standing on her head is looking into the Punjabi dictionary) “Woah, heavy duty man, check it out, this is totally
twitchen, its happenin' man, its gonna blow your mind, it'll totally freak you out. Jedi (jaddee) means family, ancestry,
ancestral property - like a clan, man - this is totally trippy. Ance-story is
like ance+story you know, like anecdote and story man, like our series get it, and get this: Jed(yaad) means a 'remembrancer'
- straight from the book. So its far-out mind-bending TruTH is that 'WE are Family'.
WE got One Father Guru Gobind Singh, One Mother Mata Sahib kaur, and ONE waheguru, the Awesome Blossom. We are the Khalsa
Clan man - WE are a family of ‘remembrancers’ with ‘ancestory’ memory of WaheGuru and ancestral property
of gurbani. Our story is about Jedi *Nights* (not just Knights) - like - what this Family does Nights is remember WaheGuru
WaheGuru - Ya dig? So be mellow, my flower children brothers (siblings of destiny). We are all blossoms blooming on ONE Tree.
Don't get hung up & strung out ... just Turn On to WaheGuru, Tune In to naAM and Drop Out... of all the 5 worries... naAM
japo is where it's at...” she hands out flowers all around... * * * * * *
* * *
* * * ** * Producer: “Hmmm…
Maybe I can buy the Porsche for Julie after all…” The light fades and the curtain drops....
Meanwhile back in the elevator....
In the pitch-dark, we couldn't even see our noses which the ancient dust had clogged
up so badly we felt like choking (if we could have seen ourselves we would have all looked like kaRtaal killa after a smagam).
A very spidery vibe hung about us (if we could have seen, we would have seen spiders everywhere we turned). Sticky webby things
clung to us (see previous complaint). Crawly, creepy, unseen critters, skittered and crept on us (see previous 2 complaints).
And I had to go to the bathroom really, really bad! "How bad?" you ask. Well, lemme put it
this way: Let’s say you come back from a long drive. And you have had your shares of juice and colas (and
your sister's share too); and you are ready to burst. As soon as the car stops, you rush to the closest bathroom in
your house. And your always-ahead-of-you-in-things-that-really-really-matter sister beats you to it and goes in with
a cellphone! You rush upstairs and your grandpa has just entered the second bathroom! You begin wondering if anybody
will notice you in the backyard (and besides, you are thinking, the trees do need nutritious fluids once in a while).
You bang at the first bathroom shouting at your sister to get out until she has phoned all her contacts and can't talk on
the phone anymore, so finally gets out (not before giving you a good smack on your head for disturbing the peace of the bathroom!).
You jump in and your nalaa won't open - you use your teeth without much success and are considering use scissors. Well, that would be this bad: p The bad I was feeling? PP By
my estimation, it had been 40 long dark, dusty, webby, crawly and holding-it-in minutes of us shouting for help; hitting all
the elevator buttons one by one and all at once; hitting each other; and smashing spiders against the walls. After we had
spent our boyish energy shouting and screaming to everyone from awash-with-aloos-auntie to Yodha Singh (yes, we got the memo). We slumped together into a corner
thinking of all the things we could have accomplished in life. It would have been nice to prove that I exist to the girl with
dimples. "Is that asking for too much?" I (internally) shouted at the Universe. My
sister, who had been quiet all this time spoke up,
“There is more going on here than meets the ears, kiddos - this elevator has been
cursed into soundproofness. Some evil force is at play here!” <ooo000O.o.O000oo> My
heart sank as I confessed, “I saw a frog…” The
Jori PhaR kid interrupted , “Me too, I saw two frogs on the window sill –
one was holding a stick or something in its mouth.”
PP- PP My
sister instructed in very, very low tone, “Brother, tell me exactly what happened today morning. I mean exactly!”
I repeated everything. When I reached the part where I repeatedly heard the gurbani tukk
“gur bin ghoor andhaar”, the other kids jumped in all talking at once. “One
at a time,” my sister ordered. The
Jori Phar kid told us he had done Sukhmani Sahib that morning and said that for some reason this particular tukk
had struck him so much that he reread it several times before continuing: ijh pYfY mhw AMD gubwrw ] hir kw nwmu sMig aujIAwrw ] jih paiddai mehaa andhh gubaaraa
|| har kaa naam sang oujeeaaraa || <264> Naam shall be the Light on the journey of pitch-black
darkness. The Conspiracy-theory
kid mentioned that when he was coming to the Gurudwara that morning, the CD his mom (the mother of all conspiracies)
listens to had jammed at: gur prswid shj Gru pwieAw imitAw AMDyrw cMdu ciVAw ] gur parasaadh sehaj ghar paaeiaa mittiaa andhhaeraa chandh charriaa || <393> Darkness has dispelled and the moon of wisdom has risen
when, by Guru's Grace, I entered the home of celestial bliss. While Vaja
ToR had heard his father (Senior Vaja ToR) sing this shabad that morning: gur prswid rqnu hir lwBY imtY AigAwnu hoie aujIAwrw ] gur purusaadh ruthun har laabhai mittai agiaan hoe oujeeaaraa ||< 353 > Divine Light shines forth and ignorance is dispelled when, by Guru’s grace, the True One is found. kaRtaal killa too
had woken up to a related shabad on his gurbani alarm clock radio: ismrq nwmu koit aujIAwrw bsqu Agocr sUJI ] simuruth naam kott oujeeaaraa busuth agochur soojhee
|| < 497 > Millions of lights appear and the incomprehensible is understood when remembering Naam. After we had related this, we all turned hopefully to my sister – well, at least in the direction
where we thought my sister was. She reassured us by speaking in soothing tones, “Come to think of it, I too heard this Shabad- nwmu lYq prgit aujIAwrw ] nwmu lYq Cuty jMjwrw ] naam laith purugatt oujeeaaraa || naam laith shuttae junjaaraa ||< 1142 > Divine Light blazes forth and one’s bonds are broken by Naam. -When I took a random online hukamnana from Sikhi to the Max. (To read shabads download gurmukhi /gurbani fonts from http://www.sikhitothemax.com/index.asp ) There is hope, kiddos. I believe the Guru is going to somehow take care of us. Let me tell you
what Guru means. “Gu” means darkness and “ru” means light. Guru leads us from darkness to light.” After
hearing this, Jori PhaR's piped up, “If there was ever a right time to jap naam, this is it - WaheGuru!” As soon as he said this, a tiny lighted “WaheGuru” came out of his
mouth and floated to the ceiling………………… We
were absolutely astounded into utter and complete silence. Then <pop> darkness engulfed us once more. We shuddered and
a sob escaped from somebody (no-not from me), but my good ole sis told us “That’s it! Everybody KEEP japping.” And she was right. Every time one of us repeated “WaheGuru” a bubble of light floated out
of our mouths. Pretty soon many of these floated up and began to fill the elevator illuminating our surroundings. I
could vaguely see something creepy, PP~PP “Eeek!” I squeeeaked. Then, “Oh that’s my nose.” I giggled with relief. We then began japping with all our might. Before long a luminous sheen cast
its shimmering golden glow over us almost like reverse shadows outlining our features. Soft little balls of light flitted
about us like fireflies do on hot summer nights. Encouraged,
we continued japping steadily. Our efforts synchronized merging into a rhythmical… “GurWAH GurWAH” At this point, our “WaheGurus” became more intensely focused sharp points of twinkling light which began
brightening the gloom. We huddled in close enthusiastically, our energy
building. Opti-mystically we japped our voices rising to a crescendo repeating, reverberating “Waheguru WaheGuru Waheguru…” Spurred
on by our success, enjoined in japping, united with effort, a kind of naami camaraderie settled in. We felt a flooding sort
of love wash over us. Then suddenly as though some spark caught fire, bursting into flame all at once, our “WaheGurus”
flared brightly. Like a flood lamp pouring liquid light over us, the gloom dispelled.
We could really see. kaRtall
killa kid announced, “Hey, look we can read the Sikhreht Code book now…” The conspiracy kid took out the Sikhreht Code book
and began reading it… To
be continued…
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