July1,1998
I can not believe this, but I stepped on the scale this morning and I
have lost another pound!!!!!!!! But Im not excited.....yeah right! I
am now down to 189, and I feel wonderful. Rich came in last night,
so its a very good day! He thinks I look wonderful!!!! My back feels
a lot better, but Im still going to take it slow... Im still losing,
so I guess Im doing just fine. We should be leaving over the weekend,
and I cant wait...I will miss my computer and all my friends....but
I'll try and post on the road. Getting my hair done tommorow....no I
will not take any muscle relaxers!!! See you all tommorow friends.
July2,1998
Hi friends. Well me and Rich got our first pickup.We are going to pick up
2 hours away from here, then we dont have to leave til Sunday. We have
our delivery in Indiana for Monday. Hoping we get a real good run out
of Indiana. So I'll be home til Sunday, which is good since there is
so much to do before we leave. Got my hair done today, just a bodywave.
No color job! My daughter got her hair cut today too, and she looks
so much older than 13...which doesnt make Rich too happy! The kids leave
tommorow....and yes Im a little happy about that! Im doing great with
the diet. Last night we got a pizza, and all I could eat was one piece!
I was so stuffed, thats a big change for me. I could never stop at one
piece. Well got to run and make our pickup...see you all tommorow.
July3,1998
Andrea and Keith left this morning, and after being so excited about
the little vacation I am getting from the non stop fighting team, my
heart is aching....They have been gone for 2 hours and I feel like they
have been gone for weeks. Im sure they will have a great time,as I will
as well, but I know my heart will ache til they are safe at home
again. Rich and I will be here til Sunday morning then we leave for
Indiana. I am pretty excited about going...but of course there is
all the do to lists...the last minute anxiety attacks,(did I turn the oven
off? lock the doors?etc,) Last night we went out to eat at the
Chinese buffet in town, I just picked at a few things and did pretty well.
I love Chinese, but I hate the bloating it causes the next day.
Last night I looked through my guestbook and I noticed my brother
Frank left me a note. He lives in Ohio and we dont see each other
much. I sent him the address to my home page and he checked it out.
He never really knew about all the life experiences I have been through.
I rarely ever told my family anything. Well my ex always said he
would kill my family if I ever brought them into it..so I kept quiet.
Anyway,his note made me cry,,,,and I just want to say Frank...I
love you. Your the neatest brother in the world......
July4,1998
Hi friends, Happy Fourth.Rich and I had a very quiet today without the
kids...just rented some movies, and had take out Chinese. It looks
like rain so I think we will skip the fireworks...(make our own).
Last night Rich took me out shopping, I needed clothes so desperately.
I got three pairs of shorts, all regular size large! That felt pretty
good not to have to buy 2x or larger. I got some very pretty lacey
undies...and some bras to match. Felt good, I must say that Rich
had to force me to buy the clothes....I still have such a problem
spending money on myself....but Im working on it. Well tommorow we
hit the road......cant wait!
July 5,1998
Hi friends....just wanted to post and say goodbye, we should be leaving
in a few hours. I am going miss you all so much, but like I said
before I will try and post at the truckstops........
Pray for me that I dont succumb to the aroma of the greasy cheeseburgers
and fries at the truckstops!!! Im going pick up alot of fresh fruit
so I hope that helps....I feel so sad, like Im leaving the best friends
I ever had :-( Be back soon.
July7,1998
HI friends...Im in Cleveland at my brothers house on his comp. The
truckstops have terrible computers, so this may be my only post
til I get back....So far, we went To Indiana and now they are sending
us back to Pa!!!! You can say Im alittle dissapointed......but hoping
to get a better run from Pa. I got to see my brother too, so that made
me happy. Im doing great, not eating those greasy cheeseburgers!!!!!
Not yet, anyway. I bought alot of fresh fruit and lots of water......
Well hope to get a chance to post again before I get back.....miss you
all.
July 14
Got to be quick, these truckstop pc are horrible. In kansas will be
home friday haven't had one greasy hamburger yet been real good.
miss you all
July17,1998
Hi friends.....Im back! It sure is great to be home,but I had such
a good time, I wouldnt mind at all going back out. We went from Pa
through Tennessee,Arkansas, Oklahoma,Texas, New Mexico, Colorado,Kansas,
Missouri,Illinois,Indiana,New York and back home to Pa all in ten days!
My husband has some job, I dont know how he does it....all the traffic,
bad car drivers, bad weather, truck stop food....and it all has to be
on time. Be nice to a trucker today friends....they deserve it.
Well I did not have one hamburger!!! I was a perfect dieter all ten days.
I havent lost a pound though....but I guess its more important to
not gain....Kids will be back tommorow night, so I have some time
to catch up on all the mail. I have missed you all so much.
hey I fit into the booths at the  restaurants!!!!!!!
July18,1998
Hi friends! I stepped on the scale this morning and I am down 3
more pounds!!!186 as of today, feels so great. Just got back from
my nail appointment and I am going to be helping her out with her
new shop! I am so excited about it,you all know how lonely I am all
the time and even a few hours a day working will feel so good.
Well tommorrow I turn 37...I was a little down about it, but you
know what, I still feel like 27 so thats all that matters....
My kids are due in tonight, with my niece and nephew as well. Its going
to be alittle tough with four kids,, three of them are 13 with
attitudes.....Wish I was going back on the truck! Anyway have a
great Saturday friends, see ya all tommorrow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE RICH
July19,1998
Hi friends...as you can see my husband left me a birthday greeting,
thanks honey...I love you. Well the niece and nephew didnt come up,
it seems that my daughter Andrea and her cousin got caught sneaking
around my ex's closets and found a dirty movie and started watching
it.They got caught by my ex and he punished my daughter by not allowing
her cousins to come. I am a little relieved, since I wasnt into having
four kids all week....but I am more than dissapointed in my daughter.
Thirteen, what a great age.....and I thought the terrible two's was
bad. Anyway, today Rich is going to take me shopping for my b day,
I want to get some nice shirts so I look nice when I help out Kathy
at the nail shop.Then at sunset I would like to go to the lake and
do some fishing. Feeling real good today, the meds that the dr has
me on has seemed to kick in, and I feel way much calmer.Tommorrow I
am going to start exercising again. Kathy lent me some country video's
so I have something new to do.My eating has been great, and I am
so postive that I will reach my goal weight.I want it so bad, that
no chocolate,chips, ice cream can be more important than a size eight.
I feel reborn today,my mind is clear...my body looks better and better,
I feel GOOD!!!I know the old wounds have trouble healing and they
may be with me forever...but they are starting to hurt less and less.
You...my friends have been a lifeline for me, you have no idea how
much you all mean to me. The encouragement,support,words of kindness
have brought me so much joy.I love you all so much........
My husband couldnt be more supportive of me, and he has been the most
wonderful man.I know I say it all the time, but honey I love you so much.
So I guess I will close my post today with a thank you to my mom...for
giving birth to me.....my life has been no walk on the beach...but
look at it now, what we go through to get peace in our lives.
Love to all
July20,1998
Hi friends, well I had a pretty nice birthday til the evening.
My neighbors invited us over for dinner and she had a cake,(I didnt
eat any).We have known each other for a year and it was really just
a hi and by kinda relationship, but over the last month we have become
more friendly. She bought me a real nice blue pants outfit, fit great!
I felt so good. When we got home, I took a long bubble bath and tried
on all kinds of lingerie (I used to sell it) and to my surprise I fit
into a beautiful red lacy nightgown (called Hot Senorita). For the
first time in so long I felt beautiful...sexy. It was such a high.
Well my daughter has been so out of control lately and me and Rich
are trying to set her straight. Of course she has to have an attitude
and Rich just blew up. She has been so disrespectful to me. I know
it comes from the ex, he never respected me in front of the kids...but
its gotta stop! I have been abused for too long. So you can say my
red hot evening fizzled....by the time we went to bed, we were both
so aggravated and upset. Rich had to leave this morning, when we need
to be together the most, he has to work.
Anyway on to some diet news...I lost another pound,I am down to 185.
Since I have been home I havent had any appetite at all. I am supposed
to start exercising today and I just need to veg....Plus its too hot.
See ya all tommorow friends
July21,1998
Hi friends, just got back from the dr and he's pretty happy with my
weight loss. He upped the dosage on my anti-anxiety medicine, and
everything seems to be going well. Next month I have to come in for
a blood test for diabetes. I had gestational diabetes when I was
pregnant with Keith and he just wants to make sure Im okay. He thinks
the chances are good that I dont have it since I have been losing weight
and exercising (NOT, too hot). I'll let you all know how it turns
out.Other then that everything is quiet at home, missing Rich some
thing awful.My daughter has been behaving today so far, havent got the
'tude' yet...we shall see. She never lasts more then a week......
I just wish she knew how much I loved her, Im so afraid of losing her
that I would cut off my arm before I let her go that easy....I would
not be whole without one of my children. I guess I have to wait til
she's a mom herself....then she will see. Til tommorow my friends.
Be good
July22,1998
Morning Friends...well yesterday after such a great dr visit,I decided
to go on a break from my diet. I threw caution to the wind (LOL) and
ate whatever I wanted. The scale still reads 185, so I didnt do any damage
and you know what, I dont care that I cheated yesterday! After day's
and days of being strict and exercising and being a perfect dieter
I decided Im going have a free day. Other then my stomach feeling
like crap...I am totally fine with what I did. Today it's back to the
grind...exercise included.Does this mean I finally starting to like
myself??? That I can forgive myself for slipping and not want to jump
off the nearest bridge? I hope so, I like this feeling.The kids are
really trying hard to behave, even Miss "tude" is giving it all she
got to be good. Do they see the changes in me?? Friends, I feel great
today! I still feel lazy, and my house really needs a good cleaning
but as far as Im concerned I havent seen a roach yet...so I'll get
to it when Im good and ready. I think today that there is a light
at the end of the tunnel....see you all later
July23,1998
Hi friends..YAY!!!! I exercised this morning,after three weeks of not moving
hardly, I put on a tape and did a workout. I plan to do this every
morning again, just no weights for another two weeks. I also got a lot
done around the house as well...the roach comment started bothering me.
Sticking to my diet and drinking tons of water. I know that I told
you all that I live in this little hick town with a little hick
newspaper..the town paper has this speak out section where people
can call a 800 number and talk about their peeves...well there was
this one peeve today that has got me boiling....This person seems
to be offended by the "blubber babes" as he/she affectionatly calls
heavy women. From the message, its a eye sore to see all the blubber
babes walking around town with their shorts on. I guess heavy women
have to cover head to toe...so we don't offend he/she anymore.
Doesn't matter that its 90+ degrees outside....With all the other
issues in our town, this person has nothing better to say,...its really
got me mad. Maybe skin and bone babes should cover up as well...and
guys with big bellies, hey how about everyone that doesn't look like Cindy
Crawford.......Sorry friends, I know he/she is an ignorant miserable
person, but it hurts, you know. Anyway enough of that, have a great
day all
July24,1998
Hello friends...well another pound down!!!184 this morning and still
going strong, and I exercised this morning as well. I also got my house
back in order...(the roach thing WAS really starting to bother me).
The kids are behaving and all is going smooth with them so far. Rich is
on his way home....can I tell you does it get any better??? Im not
sure when he will pull in, either tommorow late night or Sun. Of course
he has to leave Mon morning...but one hour with my love of my life is
precious. As far as yesterdays entry and that nice personality-challenged
person...sorry if I ranted, it just hit the right button. Anyway, after
I told the ladies of my dieters club, one of them suggested that we
find out where this ignoramus lives...and have an ATTACK OF THE BLUBBER
BABES....I must of laughed for hours, its so good to be able to laugh
when we hurt. So all my friends, sisters....lets all try and laugh
more, hey I think it burns calories....
see you all tommorow
July25,1998
Hi friends, down another pound!!! 183 this morning. This is going
real well. I just got back from the beauty salon and had my hair
colored. Its a dark auburn, and I love it...I just wish I took better
care of myself before I dieted, it lifts the spirits so much to get
your hair done, nails, put on a new perfume. No matter what we weigh we
should take pride in the way we look. It's so important. Rich is on
his way home....can't wait. Well gotta run, my neighbor needs my help.
Her husband is a real s.o.b. Long story...let me go rescue her.
talk to all later
July27,1998
Hi friends, well Rich came in yesterday morning at 8, and had to
leave this morning at 3am..Its like a flash of time...I really
hate his job. I hope this weekend he gets in. We had a pretty nice day
though. We went to see Kathy (nail tech & friend) and she lent me her
airglider to use til I get a treadmill. Its pretty good, but its not
that easy...I was dying after five minutes. Stopped at a garage sale
and this woman was selling a bible from the 1800's...and she only
wanted 15 dollars for it! Me the big mouth (but honest) had to tell her
to get it appraised and she was crazy to give it away for only 15
dollars..Well I might have passed up on a few thousand dollars, which
is absoulety crazy...but I just had to tell her...afterwards we went
to the lake with my neighbors and we had a pretty good time. Rich
would of rather us to spend the day alone, but my neighbors husband
is real bad...and though she hasnt admitted it to me, I believe he
hits her.He's been very uptight these past few days, and I just thought
if we invited them to the lake, he would relax and not go ape on her.
Anyway GOOD NEWS!!!! I am down to 181...one more pound to go to the mini
goal of 180. I am so excited about it all.When I was laying on the bed
last night Rich commented on how my rib bones were sticking out!!!!
What a great feeling, other then that I think I am getting a cold.
I would love to lay in the sun today, its so beautiful out.Being
a former sun goddess,its so hard to resist at times. Aw, maybe
just for an hour,,,,stay strong friends
July28,1998
Hi friends, not having such a good day today, the diet is still going
well, no sabotage yet. Just in one of those moods. I guess I can blame
it on pms. I woke up this morning and my microwave quit working,(it is
almost 12 years old)My son Keith stepped on the cord of my pretty new
Fanthom vacuum cleaner and pulled the cord right out of the unit.
My computer has to go back to the shop to have a new sound card put
in, I can not believe I just bought this in November.......
Worse of all my family is in termoil...My daughter has been trying to
clean up her act, but so much damage has already been done. My husband
is at the end of his rope,and I can't seem to make it better. All I
ever wanted out of life was a happy family. Growing up,my needs were
taken care of, but my parents were never there for me, and still arent.
After the sexual abuse at seven, I became very depressed and tried
to commit sucide at the age of fourteen. My mom and dad never even
thought to take me to a dr, they just punished me when I got out of
the hospital and never spoke to me about it. Then of course there was
the ex...one living nightmare, there never was a moment of happiness
in all of the ten years, except the days that my children were born,
and the day I left that awful man/thing. Now I got the perfect husband
serene living in the country and a daughter who will stop at nothing
to make life miserable. I am trying friends so hard to get her on the
right path, but is it too late for Rich and her, is the damage too
much? I never asked for much, I just want peace and a happy family
life......Sorry friends, I really needed to talk about it. See you all
tommorow
July29,1998
Hi friends,sorry for the depressing entry yesterday,Rich and I have
talked more and we both want the same goals for our family...so
I know it will be tough, but we will get through it. And like all
us mommy's we do tend to becoming mama bears at times. I know I do..
I am the most meekest and gentle woman, but when I feel my kids are
being attacked the claws come up and I can not hear anything that Rich is
trying to say to me. Though he understands that, which is good.
Anyway, on to my diet, that is the reason I started this page to
begin with. Im doing good, exercising every day, boy can I tell you
that air glider is tough!!! Im still at 181...hoping Im not at some
dreaded plateau. I really want to get down to the 70's.
Hope you all have a great day, and stay strong.
July30,1998
Hi friends, well I just took my pc down to the shop and had the new
sound card put in...good as new, almost. There is this annoying beep
that is driving me insane....Skip,(computer whiz& new best friend,
hey same catagory as nail techs, and hair dressers)said if it drives
me crazy, he will come by and fix it. Anyway, still holding at 181...
that is driving me crazy, got somewhat of an appetite back, not much
though. And now my back is aching because I again had to move out the pc
desk and lug it down to the store. So I guess I am going take some
muscle relaxers and lay down for awhile,,,,why when I need him the
most, he's always a 1000 miles away???? Life of a truckers wife....and
the saga continues...see ya all tommorow friends.
July31.1998
Well last day of the month...Today I went shopping with my neighbor
and bought this real pretty gold nightgown, matches the new hair color,
best of all my friends, it was a size large! Not 1x,2x...just plain old
large! That feels so good. It was only nine dollars, you know Walmart
special, but I would of spent nine bucks on ice cream and chips not
so long ago...
We are going to celebrate Annies birthday tonight,at my neighbors.
I bought a oreo cake, hope I can resist!!! Im sure I can, dont want
break the seams on my sexy new nightgown.Still dont know when my husband
will be in, but I have made up my mind to respect his wishes about Annie.
She has put this man through hell since he first came in to our lives,
and I need to put myself in his shoes. He loves her, I know that.
But he's hurt,dissapointed,and really mad. He does not deserve the
treatment she has given him and me for that matter.He needs time and
proof that she is really trying to change...and I will respect that.
Still hanging on to 181....dreaded plateau, but I know soon I will
step on the scale, and there will be a drop....
Well with July over, lets see what August brings our way....
See you then
|
HOME
Onward To August