August31,1998
Hi friends...I am having a real problem with tripod and editing
my aug page, just dont know why. So I will just end the month here....
I have lost another 2 pounds!!! I cant believe it! I am now down
to 168...I know its the exercise, the water, all the energy I feel
lately...Its great. Well busy day today, big cleaning and getting
the kids ready for school...YESSSSSS!!!!! I am a good mommy, really...
I know that Im overjoyed about them going to school..but I do love
them,I just love the 7 and a 1/2 hours of peace and quiet,no fighting,
no "Im bored", nothing but peace...see ya all tommorrow
Sept1,1998
Hi friends..well the kiddies went to school, and I think I must of
been jumping around for a few hours..but then when I got back from my
nail appt, I missed them:-( go figure....anyway,nails look great!!
Fire engine red, lots of charms..just love them. Rich is on his way
to Minnesota, and Im really hoping that he gets home for a decent
weekend...I want him to take me out on a date!! Just me and him, movies
some drinks..you know, like it used to be. Lets just hope he makes it
home...I actually wore a size 12 jeans last night, unbelievable!!! They
were a little tight, but they zipped right up, and they fit!! I know
they are probably a large size 12, but hey its a 12.Well I guess I will
just go to Homeroad
and gloat over my article
that was just printed in it...so hey go on over and take a look...
see ya all tommorrow
Sept2,1998
Hi friends..just got back from a tanning session at my friend Kathy's
salon...pretty nice, never tried that before.I don't see that much color
yet but Im sure it will deepen as I go along...Rich called last night
on his way to Nebraska...sure hope we can get that "date" in this weekend.
Kids came home yesterday with the long list of school supplies...so it
was off to Walmart to spend more money! I wound up buying the Titanic
video..I saw it twice in the movies,and now I can watch it another
dozen times...other then that diet is going well, eating good and doing
my exercises...just seems like I have been on this forever.Actually,I
have to think that way, I can never go back to the way I was. Its a
life long change for good.Hope you all have a great day, and see ya tommorrow
Sept3,1998
Hi Friends.having a hard time with the ragweed these past few days.
I have never been allergic to anything before I moved to the country,and
now every Sept and Oct Im miserable. Well good news..Rich is on his way
home from Nebraska, and I have him home til Tues morning!! Just too
good! Now I can get my "date"..and of course upload all the new pics
of me..dumb scanner never works for me when he's not home. I have to
confess, I have been super lazy with my exercising this week, only
got three days in..I have been busy, getting the kids ready for school,
and running around all over the place...but still no excuse. So tommorrow
I will get back on track..I have this great dress that I want to wear
for my "date" and need to get back to Richard and Jane....Eating is
still good, and I finally seem to have an appetite back, wish I didnt
still, because now I have to really fight the snack attacks....will
it never end?? No, just like laundry...no end in sight. Have a great
day friends.....
Sept4,1998
Hi friends,well Im a deeper red head!!! Love it! Just got back from the
beauty salon and the hairdresser talked me into a deeper red..I was a
little nervous..but figured I would be daring...love it!The diet is
going well, but still today I havent fit in any exercise...I have to get
out of this..but now Rich will be here tommorrow..so I'll just start all
over Tues..hope you all have a great weekend!
Sept5,1998
Morning Friends..I figured I get on early before my knight comes home.
I just cant wait to see him..he should be getting in any time now, but
being a wife of a trucker for six years, its usually the time when he
breaks down with the truck, stuck at the scales, major traffic jam, etc..
Keeping my chin up though! I can't wait til my date tonight...
Anyway, on my home page, you may notice a very beautiful picture from Little
Angels in Heaven,it was a gift from my very good friend Dawn,
who runs Little Angels..and Dawn, thanks so much,love ya sister....
Please go to her page, just click on the picture or go to my special
links..she's a very special lady! I have another little personal note
here as well, and this goes out to Frank, my brother....if I didnt have
you, I would be lost..you and Lori(sister) have been the only ones in
my family that have supported me, stuck behind me, and been there for
me when I needed you the most! I love you so very much, and Im here for
you...Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Hope you all have a great weekend, stay safe...and see you all later
Sept6,1998
Hey friends..well I didnt get my date last night, Rich was alittle
tired. So we are going tonight. We just cozied up and watched Titanic..
We are going to a bar-b-cue then off on our "date". My during pics are
up, and I really hate they way came out. I know its the scanner,(not
using it right)but I still look so fat!!! I look in the mirror at home,
and I think "I look pretty good" then when I got the pics, I just wanted
to die...I think alot has to do with the clothes I wore, big baggy clothes
just dont cut it,I looked alot thinner in the tighter dress. Anyway,
just kind of a dissapointment....Just got try harder now! Tommorrow
back to exercise....have a great day all
Sept7,1998
Hi Friends...well I have lost another pound!167 this morning,pretty good
considering that I have been so lazy with the exercise....Gotta make this
fast, thunderstorms...had a great date!!!more later
Sept8,1998
Hi friends..well kinda of a cold lonely day, sent my knight off after
coffee to the battle of the highway..kids went to school, so all alone
here. We found out yesterday that my house that I rent is being sold
and now I have to deal with the realtors, which I really hate. I lost it
after that call...I have been renting since I have left my fathers house,
and I just am tired of moving all the time..landlords, house being sold.
I really want a place of my own for once. Though it will be a long time
til we can have that dream...I guess I should just think of it as another
rollarcoaster ride in life, and as long as we are together thats all
that matters...its just so hard moving every two years or so. Trying
to keep the kids in the same school district gets harder and harder,
and all the love I put into my home,to just box it all up and start new
again...hate it. Well I can see that this is pretty depressing, so I
will spare you all from any more rambling...have a great day all
Sept9,1998
Hi friends, real drab mood today, and I can't figure out why.I got lots
of exercise in, did all my housework and then threw in some cds and
danced around for an hour..my new kick now. I guess Im still bummed
about the house, and Rich called last night on his way to Chicago for
Friday...which doesnt seem to get him home for the weekend. We'll see.
Saturday is Keiths birthday, so we will have a little party for him
with just me and Annie, and then when Rich gets home..we will have another
party...well see ya all tommorrow
Sept10,1998
Hi friends..well still alittle bummed today, the realtors came this
morning..so now its going be a zoo, Im sure. They asked if they could have
a key so they could come anytime they wanted...I gave them some look
and told them absoultley NOT!! They are so pushy sometimes, but I have
had too many years of this garbage, and they just are not going to take over
my life anymore....
I have no appetite again, ate once all day, and not even sure I want any
dinner..I did do some dancing this morning and did alot of walking
at the stores..Right now Im on a benydrl..so I dont know what I am
saying LOL...its the ragweed up here, kills me....well talk to you all
later
Sept11,1998
Hi friends, well it doesnt look good for Rich getting in this weekend..
if he does, it only will be for a day,I have no idea how I deal with
this sometimes..Its 2pm and I just now had something to eat,this deal
with the house being sold has got me really upset I guess. I lost another
pound, down to 166..six more to go to that mini goal of 160, then its
downhill from here. When I get to 150, I will put a new pic in, then every
10 pounds til I get to that goal....I hope you all have a great weekend,
see ya later
Sept12,1998
Happy Birthday to my son Keith,,wow a double digit,makes mom feel alittle
old...hey friends, today seems to be working out well. Rich will get home
around 5 this afternoon, everything worked out great...Keith and Andrea
are with their dad, and they should be home around 4..so making a cake,
and wrapping the gifts and just real happy that it all worked out...
see ya all tommorrow
Sept13,1998
Hiya friends, well Rich came in last night at 5, and my neighbors Tammy
and Willie with their two kids came over too for dinner and cake, I did
not have one piece, not even a lick of batter, thank you! It was real
nice, but then lost Rich to the puter and the nascar game we bought for
Keith...he has to leave tonight at 1am, so it was a short weekend, but
I have some very exciting news for all of you, will explain details once
they are for sure. I did lose another pound!! 165, this morning,,and
friends, sisters, Frank my brother,,I am now down to 30 pounds left
to get to my goal!! Pretty exciting I think....I also may be getting
a job with the local bank in town, my friend that works at one of the
branches is going to vouch for me!! Wish me luck,,,see you all tommorrow.
Sept14,1998Hi friends..well kinda tired today, not much sleep last
night..always happens when Rich goes off..not eating either..Ihavent
reached 500 calories in over a week, nothing to be proud of either...
But I will work on it, and eating better.I really want to get to that
goal..but not like this, I dont want to get to sick..see ya all tommorrow
Sept,15,1998
Hi friends,,well feeling alittle better then yesterday,I had a turkey
on wheat so far, and I am going try and eat some dinner later...Rich
is trying to get home for the weekend, so hopefully that will work out.
I decided against the job in town,,,as much as I got excited about it,
it just wont work out.I would need a whole new wardrobe, no money for
that,My car is old and tired, and being up here in the country there
is no busses and taxis when the car breaks down...and again just dont
have the money to keep the car going when it does..Im dissapointed, but
trying to look at it rationally. The winter is almost here too, and I
just get petrified driving up here in the snow..so,its just not in
the cards right now...I do want to write, my life long dream..so maybe
I will just concentrate on that. Anyway, I havent even been exercising.
Real bad habit to get into to...so I have to get motivated again to
get into that,,have thirty more pounds to go, cant let that slip away
on me...see ya all tommorrow
Sept16,1998
Hi Friends...well time for a big confession and pretty great news...
Rich and I are not married legally, we are commonlaw...and he wasnt
able to get a divorce for over eight years, simply because his wife
refused to cooperate, and we had no money..well the other day we found
out that she finally went and did it, and now I have a wedding to plan!!!
I have waited for this day forever it seems...we still have to get the
divorce papers from his lawyer, she tried to blackmail him into sending
her 3000 dollars for a copy...major B, but I talked to her lawyer,and she
has no legal right doing that,so as soon as Rich sends him the letter
requesting the divorce papers...its all done, and we set a date....It
still seems surreal to me, I have waited so long, and God knows how
many times I have doubted that he would marry me, because of the weight
gain and the pscyho behavior from time to time..due to depression, the
abuse,and just hating myself....but I have come a long way, and I
deserve this...so stay tuned and I will let you all know the details..
I have to lose this 30 pounds!!! HAVE TO see ya all tommorrow...
Sept17,1998
Hi Friends...well, its official, the date is Nov28 for the wedding..
and I am a nut case! Im having a small wedding here in the house,Tammy
(my neighbor) and I are doing all the cooking, and I will be married
in front of the fireplace in my living room. I am going to have white
candles lit all over the room, and my neighbors husband who is a DJ,
will take care of the music...Im going to go to the party store and
get all the decorations..and I am going to buy a real wedding dress!
Ivory with beads...oops, hope Rich doesnt read this,LOL..something
victorian, and of course a red rose bouquet. Andrea will wear a red
dress as my maid of honor, Keith will have a black suit with a red tie
as the best man, and my knight will be in white tails (I hope!) Thats
what I want...and we will probably decorate the truck and go off for
the weekend...somewhere up here in The Pocono's..I am so excited, but
nervous too...had to make sure I went to the dr and got more anxiety
medicine..I called my dad, and sister..dont think they are going to make
it,,,hoping on my brother..it would be nice to have him give me
away..so thats about it, nail appt the night before, hair appt that morning
and then it will be done...I still have this awful feeling that
everything is going to go wrong,,but I have to force myself not to
think like that....ok friends, bear with me.I will be a maniac for
awhile...but I need you, so dont go anywhere!!! see ya all tommorrow
Sept18,1998
Hi friends...well I got the justice of the peace all set, and I am going to
look at cakes tommorrow with Rich,,hes on the way home, bought a bottle
of champagne...and then send out the invites...and am I ok?? NO...I
feel like Im someone else..lol, This morning when Rich called, I was
crying, laughing, didnt have a clue what I was talking about...is this
normal? I dont remember any of these feelings my first wedding...
anyway, I lost a pound!!!164..and going down,...need 20 pounds at least
well friends, love ya all and see you tommorrow, OH,,my mail is messed
up,I have written to yahoo about it, and hope to have the problem
solved soon else I will have to change servers...so if you mailed
me a letter and I might have not recieved it, and I am not ignoring
you...
Sept19,1998
Hi friends..figured I make a post early since Rich is home, and we
are printing out all our invites and looking for wedding cakes! feeling
a little less nervous today, still also feel like this isnt real...
but I guess as any bride to be,,its normal. I have been nervous eating,
and I got to get a hold on that, Im not eating alot, just find myself
picking here and there when I usually never do that...so I better stop
that...well I think my mail is back in shape, lets hope it stays that
way..OH....My brother Frank,(you all know him) he called last night
and hes going to walk me down the hallway in place of my dad...Frank,
you have made me so happy!!! Thanks so much, love ya. Okay friends..
see ya all tommorrow....
Sept20,1998
Hiya friends, Rich just left, he really has to put in some miles so
we can pay for this wedding..we don't think we will be able to do a
honeymoon, but he promised that tax time, we will do something with
the returns...the honeymoon isnt that important, the magic of the
wedding day is...and I am so looking forward to it. Last night I found
out that a real good friend can't make it, and I guess I lost it....
It's bad enough that my mom and dad won't be here, well lets grow up,
Mom doesn't want to be here, else she would...but this friend, he means
the world to me...and I wanted to have a dance with him...well, I guess
I will have to deal with it...anyway friends I lost 3 pounds!!!! Yes,
I dont know how, but I did..guess my metabolism is on overdrive!!!!
So...161!!! Yahoo!!!! see ya all tommorrow...
Sept21,1998
Hi friends..well I have all my flowers ordered and still hanging on to
the budget..the invites are in the mail, and tommorrow my friend Kathy
and Tammy are taking me to Davids Bridal and I feel real good about it.
I think I will find that dress...besides that, I ate once today, not
too good, and I was so determined to dance with Richard..had my weights
on and everything...and I just got all tied up with the other calls, and
other lists...and just didnt have the time..OK lame excuse, I should
make the time...I need to make the time. As Scarlett O'Hara would say,
"Tommorrow is another day" see ya all later friends...
Sept22,1998
I got my gown!! It is so very beautiful,and I think the reality is
finally sinking in...I actually looked beautiful, felt beautiful...
and friends,,,I finally think I am beautiful...see ya tommorrow
Sept23,1998
Hi friends..I just got the package back from the lawyer, that promised
me on the phone that he would send a copy of Rich's divorce decree to
me since it was illegal and unethical to hold it from him...Rich does
not owe him a dime, nor the ex since there was never any agreement to
that fact,,,she went on May25th,1998 to obtain a divorce from the Domican
Republic and never told us...til Rich called a few weeks ago, and then
she told him she got the divorce and he had to give her 3000 dollars
for a copy...well the lawyer said that wasnt right for her to say that,
and agreed to send me a copy...do I have it? No, all he sent in the
return express package that I paid for..was a letter saying if he wanted
any information on the divorce he would have to see the ex....he lied
to me,I have no copy of the divorce...and I have a gown hanging in the
bedroom all waiting to be hemmed, I have invitations mailed, and flowers
and cake ordered...and my god...I cant get a marriage liscence without
the divorce decree...I am not sure I can deal with this...
Sept24,1998
Hi friends...well she is sending the copy, it wasnt easy, and we had to
play dirty...but we did it. You see, she started dating Rich when she
was his high school teacher. Very unethical, amoral and hey lets face
it, wrong...well she kept telling us to go to hell, and finally we
just said...either you send us the copy of the divorce...or we write
to the school board, the town paper, the Long Island paper, Newsday..
and lets not forget the WWW...she is a teacher with tenure, and you
know I am not mean, nor wish to hurt anyone...but she is just gone too
far...and I have had it. She wants to destroy our chance of happiness,
a day that I have been waiting for 6 years...NO, I will go at her...
and I did, and we have won....she has lost. She told Rich tonight that
the copy will be in the mail...she has a week. Friends...I am getting
married!!! Love you all, thanks for all the support and encouragement,
and now to some serious dieting...see ya all tommorrow
Sept25,1998
Hi friends,,,had a real nice morning, my friend Mary that I met at
the county fair in August came over for my Mary Kay make over, and
I tell you I love the product! It feels so good...and like you have
nothing on..very beautiful colors..well of course I bought the all of
the stuff, 5 step cleaning, the new violet colors..all! She is doing
my make up the morning of the wedding...cant wait. I also had some
very good news from my sister, she is coming!!! I talked to her this
morning and told all her about the gown..and she said, I can't miss this,
and so she is lugging up here all the way from Georgia to be here....
my neice Alexandra, her daughter is being a flower girl also, thats
her dream, shes so cute, and Lori (my sister) bought her the dress already
and will make the girls headpieces...
Other then that, all is well. I have been so excited today that all
I ate so far was a snackwell brownie..had to get my chocolate in.
Now, I feel like pizza...better go study my dress! see you all tommorrow
Sept26,1998
Hi friends..well I did have pizza, just one slice though...so Im still
doing good. Rich isnt making it home this weekend, and he really needs
to be home...it was really hard to rehash all that garbage with the ex,
and it really drained him...I understand that, thinking of all the times
I had to rehash with my ex, its tough. Though we need the money for the
wedding..we need to comfort each other too. Its a no win situation sometimes.
Well, things to do, places to go..see you all later friends....
Sept27,1998
Hi friends,Rich is on his way to Alabama,hopefully he wont go further
south into the hurricane, he is trying to get home for next weekend.
Oct1st is our six year anniversary, that is the day we moved into together
as a family..and even though I will have a wedding aniversary to celebrate,
Oct1 is very special to me....We really dont think we will be able to
have a honeymoon...but thats okay, its not that important. Hes really
nervous about the money too, like coming up with it all for the wedding,
and Im trying to be strong and tell him, its ok, we will have it.
Though,friends...I have a knot in my stomach that will not go away...
I have a fear that this day will never happen..maybe its the issues
of the past, or my natural state of mind, that nothing good and forever
can really happen for me...I know, sounds horrible...I will get over
this. It just seems like I am still waiting for the sky to fall in...
like it always did. Oh, this girl is in a dark mood here....better
snap out of it, I got a wedding to plan...have a great day all...
see ya tommorrow
Sept28,1998
Hi friends..well no loss this week, but its ok..its happened before,
and then I get a loss...so no worries. I went to the dr this morning,
got my blood sugar test for diabetes..I will know in a few days, and
even if I do have a borderline case, dr thinks I will have no worries
keeping it under control..even was so impressed about my weight loss!
Wanted to know my secret....how cool, a dr asking me. Well I told him
all about my web page and how much it has helped me, the support, the
encouragement and how important it is to me...anyway..he thought I had
a very special thing going on,,and wants to give my URL to some patients
that need to lose weight...I have to say, I feel pretty good....
Other then that worked for Kathy today, and tommorrow too....so better
get all my mail done, see ya all tommorrow
Sept29,1998
Hi friends..well I have lost one more pound!!160 this morning, and
hoping with all my heart that the wedding gown will need to be taken in
on Nov28th,,,that is, if we get that paper...no, still no word from her.
Worked at Kathy's today again, it does feel kinda cool getting up and
having somewhere to go...Rich still hasnt called today, he was suppossed
to call me at the nail shop and let me know if hes on his way home...
Kinda worried, hes in Alabama, and I know the weather is wicked there,
wondering if he even got unloaded...well I guess I have to wait til I
hear from him..anyway, I have tons of mail to catch up on, see ya all
tommorrow
Sept30,1998
Hi friends...well last day of the month,and on to October, why are the
days flying by??? I know its because I have not too much time left,
to the big day..I talked to Rich last night, and hes okay..but on his
way to Ohio,(wrong state)...but hopefully Friday. Tommorrow is our
6th aniversary of being together...was hoping he get here. Well, friends
have a great day and see ya all tommorrow...
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Onward To October