Wine is fine

But whiskey's quicker

suicide is slow with liquor

Take a bottle drain your sorrows

THEN IT FLOODS AWAY TOMMOROW!!

Evil thoughts and evil doings

Cold, alone you hang in ruins

Thought you'd escape the reaper

You can't escape the master keeper

'Cause you feel life's unreal and you're living a lie

Such a shame who's to blame and you're wondering why

Then you ask from your cask is there life after birth

What you saw can mean hell on this earth

hell on this earth!!

Now you live inside a bottle

The reaper's travelling at full throttle

It's catching you but you don't see

The reaper is you and the reaper is me

Breaking laws, knocking doors

But there's no one at home

Made your bed, rest your head

But you lie there and moan

Where to hide, suicide is the only way out

Don't you know what it's really about

Wine is fine

But whiskey's quicker

Suicide is slow with liquor

Take a bottle drown your sorrows

THEN IT FLOODS AWAY TOMMOROW

Another lonely night, laying in bed, waiting for Scott. God only knows which bar he is at, this time. It hasn't been easy being Mrs. Hall. Our newborn son has been home from the hospital for well over a week, and he's spent maybe 30 minutes with him in that time. I seem to spend more time with his children from his first marriage than he does. I've tucked them in every night, and every night they ask me, "where is daddy?" What do you tell a child, when they put their trust in you to tell the truth? "I'm sorry, hunny. You're daddy is out nursing his need for alcohol"? I don't think I could stand the heartache in their eyes.

As for me, it's not unusual for him to not be here. He was on the road alot, until drinking cost him his job in the WWE. Since then, he has been gone every night, coming home at two in the morning, staggering, bouncing off the walls, and expecting me to fall into bed with him. Why should I? All he does when I do have sex with him, is pass out before either of us finish. Anthony happened on the one rare occassion that he was sober.

I've asked him several times to quit drinking. It doesn't seem like his family is enough of a reason. I even asked him to go in for detox. I told him I'd get rid of every beer he brought in the house. That's why he started going to bars, instead of drinking at home. I guess, in a way, it's better that way. Atleast the kids don't have to see him drinking. I just worry about him coming home. He never seems to have enough sense to call a cab.

The phone rings, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Hello." "Hello. Is this Mrs. Scott Hall?" "Yes." "This is Officer Pena, with the Miami Police Department. I'm sorry to call you at this time of night." "It's quite alright. Do I need to come get Scott?" "Actually, ma'am, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there's been an accident." "Oh, my God." "I'll send a cruiser over to pick you up, and take you to the hospital. I'll give you the details when you get here." "Alright. Thank you."

My hands start shaking as I hang up the phone. I jump out of bed, and run down the hall to our live-in nanny's room. I knock on the door, as gently as my nerves allow, but it's still very loud. Sandra answers the door, groggily. "Yeah," she says half asleep. "Sandra, Scott's been in an accident. A cop car is coming to get me. I need you to keep an ear out for the kids." "Sure thing. I'll get the baby monitor. I hope he's alright." "I hope so, too, but I won't know until I get there." I ran back down the hall, and put on some clothes. I grabbed the baby monitor off of the nightstand, and gave it to Sandra, before answering the ringing doorbell. The officer on the other side said, "are you ready, ma'am?" "Yes."

The drive to the hospital seemed to take hours, but probably only took 15 minutes. As soon as we got there, the officer rushed me to the waiting room. The officer introduced me to Officer Pena. "Is he ok? Where is he? When can I see him?" "Mr. Hall is in the emergency room right now. You need to calm down as much as possible, before I can let you see him." "Ok." I took a deep breath. "What happened?" "He was driving and veered off the road. He hit a light pole, and he was sent partially through the windshield. His stomach was full of glass when they brought him in from landing on the frame. The doctors said that it would have been worse if his abs weren't as muscular as they are.

"His blood/alcohol level is twice the legal limit. The alcohol is thinning his blood, so they are having problems getting the bleeding to stop." "Do they expect him to live?" "He's in critical condition right now. The doctor's aren't sure if he'll make it or not."

After filling out some papers for the hospital, they let me see him. I went in, and sat in the chair next to him. To see him was a shock to say the least. He had cuts all over his head and shoulders. I would have left the room right away, but I had to be there for my husband. I held his hand in mine, and said, "Scott, it's me." His eyes barely opened. "Hey, baby. I really screwed up this time." "Shhh... The important thing is that you're alive." "I wish I'd never left the house tonight. I should have stayed home with you, and the kids." "We can't go back and change what happened. God knows I would if we could." "If I don't make it, tell the kids I love them." "I will, baby. Right now, you should get some rest." "I am feeling tired."

I bent over him, and gently kissed his lips. He smiled at me. "I love you, Jade." His hand went limp in mine, and the heart monitor went crazy. As tears rolled down my face, I said, "I love you, too, Scott." I ran my hands over his eyes, and shut them, as the doctors ran in the room.