Twas the night of Smackdown, when all through the house

Excitement filled us as we sat on the couch

Popcorn was set on the table with care

In hopes that the Undertaker would soon be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their bed,

While visions of motorcycles danced in their heads

And daddy in his boxers, and I in my nightshirt,

Settled in and prepared to mock Kurt.

When out of the speakers arose such a beat,

All of the people sprang to their feet.

I cheered and sat up straight,

For I knew, soon, Kurt would meet his fate.

The lights in the rafters barely did glow,

Casting a shadow on all those below

When, what do my wondering eyes see,

But a big black Titan rolling on the scene,

With a big rider, so dangerous and fast,

I knew in a moment it had to be the American Bad Ass.

Sitting at the top of the ramp, revving his engine,

Staring at Kurt with eyes full of venom

Hands on the bars, tattooed arms big and tight,

How I wished I could have this man just for one night.

He rode down the ramp, and around the ring

Kurt stood in the middle, wondering what he was doing

He turned off the bike, and swung his leg over the seat,

Walked up the steps; in the middle they did meet.

"The last few weeks, I've heard you bitch, whine and complain

In my ass, you've really become a pain.

Little man, you just ran out of luck,

About your problems, I really don't give a fuck."

Swinging his fists fast, he never did miss,

And when he was through, Kurt breathed in a hiss.

He stared at Taker, wishing he really were dead,

Then he charged, but got knocked on his head.

Taker's fist, up high it did raise,

The crowd cheered, and showered him with praise.

Taker's eyes gleamed, 'cause he knew what they wanted to see.

Kurt stood, but soon found his head between Taker's knees.

Flipped onto Taker's shoulders; feet dangling behind his back,

Kurt landed on the mat with a loud SMACK!

The arena became loud with the crowd's love for him

And what they gave him, he gave back to them

For he knew in his black heart they were why he went back there

Even when the young guys said "to keep the old guy is not fair"

So, all you boys in the back, get rid of your bitchiness,

'Cause Deadman, Inc. is back in business!