The sun NEVER shone where I grew up in care. I was always full of longing and feeling that I never ever belonged in there.

My world while I grew up in care so so dark and miserable during my time spent in there. I just needed someone to love me and let me see that I had something that was good in me Oh! how I wished for this to be but never did it happen for me.

My life while I was in care was so full of sadness because I was always told I was so full of badness I just deperately needed to hear you to say you did love me.
My world was full of confusion and terrible fear I just trembled whenever you came near so great was my fear. You were always dressed in black just like my
world so dark.

I never did see that you did have any heart you were always so cold and stark. All I ever seemed to do
while I spent many years with you was to cry my endless tears no they were never so few but left me with a gaping hole in my heart seeking for you to show some love to me but never was this achieved
for me oh! what a sad life just wishing and hoping for just one smile:).

When I went to my bed at night I just sobbed and sobbed and hoping that things would become
bright praying night after night wanting everthing to come right
and my tears just did not seem to be able to stop just begging to myself never to wake up to face another day with endless beatings and misery to come my way.

So so alone I did feel wanting my Mum and Dad to become real and hold me tight comforting me and telling me everything would be alright those were the words I so longed to hear but all I had was misery and tears and this enless fear my living nightmare for me!

JUST WHY DID YOU DO ALL
OF THIS TO ME? BECAUSE I WAS ONLY ME NOT WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO BE!