On Wednesday 14^th January 2004 I had my 41 week appointment with Dr How.  A lot of people had told us to have our bags packed just in case, so before we left we went around the house making sure we had everything.  Dr How basically asked us when we wanted to have the baby and we said 'As Soon As Possible!' He got on the phone to the hospital and asked if he could send us over.  We were in a bit of shock when we heard this, but excited too.  We made the short drive to the hospital and calmly walked down the hallway to the maternity ward.  This was not really how I pictured it – I thought I should be making more noise or something!  It seemed like we were checking into a hotel.  They showed us to our room and I unpacked and checked everything out.  We had a double bed room with an ensuite and there were cupboards with beanbags, swiss balls and all the stuff you need to have a baby.  Kel went and got us something to have for lunch (it was 12:45pm) because we figured we were going to be here for a while! 

2:45pm

I am lying down on the bed with a CTG monitor on my belly.  First they monitored me (and the baby) for half an hour to make sure that everything was ok before they administered the Prostin (gel used to induce labour).  I have to be monitored and stay lying down for an hour now to let the Prostin do its job.  It is kind of reassuring hearing the beeping of Josh’s heartbeat.  But it gets worrying when he moves around and the machine can’t pick up the beat as clearly.  I try to get some sleep because I figure I could be here for a while and I will need all the rest I can get.

7pm

My back is really starting to hurt now.  Kel went home to get some stuff that we had forgotten and me and Tina went for a walk around the hospital.  I had to make myself eat my dinner, it wasn’t very nice.  It was some kind of vegetarian frittata thing that had no flavour.  We went and sat outside while Kel and Tina had their tea.  It was nice and sunny outside so we wanted to make the most of it.  When it turned 7pm it was time to go back to the room – I couldn’t miss Home and Away!!!!  Kel keeps asking me if I am having contractions, but it doesn’t feel like contractions to me, just back ache that keeps coming and going. 

10pm

I finally decided to have a shower.  It was nice having the hot water on my back, but the water was so hot that I was turning red and the bathroom was really steaming up!  After the shower the midwife suggested that I take some sleeping pills to help me to get some sleep.  She explained that they wouldn’t knock me out, so there wasn’t a chance that I would sleep through the labour.  The problem is that it hurts so much when I lie down.  I’ve moved to the chair to try to sleep.  I feel really groggy, but the back pains are coming about every 5 minutes or so I think.  This is horrible, but it hasn’t even started really.  They said that Josh is still posterior and that is why my back is hurting.

11:49pm

I just had another contraction thing… they don’t feel like real contractions though because it just hurts in my back.  The baby hasn’t engaged fully yet.  Every now and then I feel a pressure down there but I think he keeps going back up.  I’m thinking about calling the nurse because I’m not actually sleeping but I feel like if I have too many drugs now I won’t be able to cope later when things get serious.

Thursday 15^th January, 7am

I have had enough!  I can’t do this anymore.  The pain is too much.  I got Kel to tell the nurse that I want an epidural.  I have tried all the other pain relief methods:  showers, baths, massages, bouncing on the swiss ball, the gas.  Nothing really works… it just helps to take my mind off things.  I just keep breathing through the contractions.  They are getting pretty close together (about 2-3 minutes apart) and they are killing me.  At one point I just broke down crying because I had had enough.  Liz (the midwife from my antenatal classes) is working now, and she did the internal to see how I had progressed before giving me an epidural.  She was a bit stumped and got another more senior midwife to check.  They still weren’t sure.  One said I was 9cm dilated, the other said 1cm, or something about an arm being in the way or something like that.  Basically it means that I have to wait for Dr How to get here so he can do an internal.

9am

My breakfast arrived so I am sitting on the swiss ball, bouncing away, eating my toast when Dr How walks in and makes some smart remark about how he thought I wanted an epidural but here I was eating breakfast.  He did an internal and it bloody hurt.  He is really rough.  He said I was 9cm dilated – so those back contractions must have been doing something!  The smirk was wiped off Dr How’s face when he realised that the babies head was not engaged.  He was still floating around in there and there was a risk of cord prolapse which would mean that if my waters broke and the baby wasn’t engaged the cord could come out and cut off oxygen to the baby.  Then I would have to get on my hands and knees with my bum in the air and be rushed off to have an emergency Caesar.    By this stage I was in hysterics, I was in pain from the contractions and the doctor giving me the internal, and the disappointment that I could have to have a Caesar.  To top it off the doctor wouldn’t give me the epidural.  He said that I should try the pethidine first.  I didn’t really want pethidine, but he wouldn’t give me the epidural in case the baby engaged and it got time to push.  But I needed something, so I had the pethidine.  The doctor gave me a deadline of 12:15pm.  He said that if the head had not engaged by then I would have to have a Caesar.

12:15pm

Well the pethidine didn’t really help with the pain; it just made me really sleepy.  I was sleeping in between each contraction.  The staff had been running around getting me ready in case I had to go to surgery.  They put a drip in my hand, put the CTG monitor back on me, put a catheter in, took my earrings out and gave me a really cute hospital gown to wear.  Basically this gave me some time to get used to the idea.  The deadline came around and Dr How came back and confirmed that I would have to have a Caesar.  They moved me onto the trolley bed and wheeled me to the surgery where they gave me a spinal block.  I had to curl up in a ball while they gave me some needles to numb the area.  While this was happening I was still having contractions and had to get them to stop while I was having one.  After one of the needles I jumped, and I was hoping it wasn’t the spinal needle.  Luckily it wasn’t.  It felt really weird after I had the spinal.  I couldn’t move anything from my belly down.  They had to move me around onto the operating table.  It was really good to stop feeling the contractions.  They put the screen up so that I couldn’t see anything.  I could just feel tugging and pulling.  Kel was sitting with me in a hospital gown and cap.  We heard my waters spill onto the floor.  Apparently there was a lot of it and they were bulging.  The doctor had to ask for a cloth to mop up the floor (and his shoes!).

1pm

There was a bit more tugging and we heard Josh’s first sounds.  It wasn’t really a cry, just a little noise.  Everyone was saying how big he was and how he might be 10 pounds.  I was a bit shocked at this.  The doctor brought him over so I could see him and touch him. They took him to the other side of the room to weigh him (he was 9lb 3oz, not 10 pound!) and check him – that is when he made a lot of noise!  Then Kel brought him over and held him close to me so I could give him his first kiss.  He is so cute.  He has a reddish tinge to his hair, and there is a fair bit of it.   We got a few photos and Kel took him out and I got stitched up.  I was so tired I kept falling asleep.  Then they took me to recovery.  I was there for nearly an hour.  They checked my stitches and belly.  I couldn’t believe it when I looked down and could see my toes!  They put ice on my face and compared it to the rest of my body to make sure the spinal was wearing off.  I tried to wiggle my toes and it felt so weird when I could only move them a little bit.  I was wheeled to my new room (Caesars are put in shared rooms with single beds).  They brought Josh over to me and I gave him his first feed.  It was amazing.  He knew exactly what to do.

9pm

Josh has been doing this really cute thing where he pokes his tongue in and out.  I think it means he is hungry.  I rang the buzzer but nobody has come yet.  I hate not being able to get up or pick up Josh.  I have to wait for the midwife to come so she can pass Josh over to me so I can feed him.  He has had hiccups a lot, about 4 times today, but he did get them a lot when he was inside me so I guess he should be used to it!

Friday 16^th January, 7am

I sat up for breakfast today – my first meal since breaky yesterday (when I was rudely interrupted by the doctor!).  I was a bit woozy but not too bad.

11am

I got up for a shower.  First I sat with my legs dangling over the side of the bed.  It felt very strange.  I walked across to the bathroom with the help of the midwife.  I had to take little baby steps and I couldn’t believe how it felt; it was so hard to do simple things like sit down.  I had a shower sitting down and luckily Kel came while I was in there coz I had dropped the conditioner.  There was no way I could bend over to get it – and I didn’t want to call the nurse just for that!

Saturday 17^th January

I got up feeling heaps better today and just couldn’t stop looking at Josh – he is just so beautiful.