 Back In Ohio |
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| March18,2001 I know, I have been awful with keeping up with this journal, but Im back and I have to say that all is going well. I just returned from Ga, and had a great two weeks with Lori and her family. I got to spend time with the kids and I loved it.......yes Lori, evenJake......My little angel nephew. I have a job possiblity this week, and will let you know tomorrow...(looks like a really good job)and soon I think if I get the job I can move to my own place and get back on my feet. I have seen the new counslers here and its kinda of what I had at home, so I think it will work out. I hate rehashing it all, but it needs to be done. So maybe I did lose it all, hit rock bottom so they say, but sometimes that needs to be done to find your way back up again. I know in my heart that even when I felt God was not with me in the worse times, I AM HERE, and I know he was the one that held me up and got me through.What an awesome feeling. Of course my brother and my sister are here for me. I saw my mom and dad when I was at Lori's and hey guess what? I got a great big hug from my dad.....and I think I am going to be ok with him.My kids are doing great and I think they will come up to visit for Easter. You know Im excited, they are taking care of Isabella and the love birds and I hope to get a place wher I can have them back with me. So, this time Im back, and I hope that you all will be back here for me. |
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| March19,2001 Happy Aniversary to Terri and Frank. 13 years today,and Im so happy that they are getting to spend the day together. I went to the counsler today and things there are moving right along, I can get some support groups to go to and help to find a job,housing, but hey I got an interview this Friday and its with a really good job, full paid training,insurance and good hrs. I have a good feeling about it and I hope to share the good news with u all when I get it. In the meantime Im still looking and you never know. Next will be an apt, getting all that straight and then getting up the long flight of stairs to total recovery.....I almost believe that is possible now.Talk to you tomorrow. |
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| March22,2001 Tomorrow is the big day....the interview. I dont feel as nervous as I expected to be, maybe even a little bit confident...maybe thats not a good way to be for me, but its a good sign of improvement in how I feel about myself. I got my hair done and my nails and my sister bought me this great outfit so my apperance will be just about perfect.(It counts alot) I could use some good wishes from you all and I hope to be telling you that Hey, I got it! |
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| March24,2001 I did great at the interview......Tues is my second one, but honestly I feel that I got it. I will be making alot of money, more then I made in a long time,great benefits and just being able to meet people up here is enough for me. I also went apt hunting as well and I love this one place we looked at. Huge,clean,affordable, and really nice.So if it all goes well Tues(which I know it will, I have to think positive) I will be getting my own place too. The job starts with 6 weeks of training, 3 weeks in a classroom and 3 weeks on the job....pretty intensive, but since its with a pretty large bank they need you to know all the banking terms, gvt regulations and I suppose how to deal with the people that call......I think I can handle it. I have to wait awhile for the insurance to kick in, so thats a worry with my meds but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.I really cant believe that 2 months ago I thought life was over, and I didnt see tomorrow but now I have a great big future in front of me.....I just hope and pray that my children will want to be with me. They are getting settled on the Island, friends, school, theraphy, after school jobs and of course a relationship with their dad. I can not force them to come with me, only hope that they might want too....I just want them to be healthy and happy and if that is with their dad, then it will be fine....I miss them so much and cant wait to see them,although I do not know when that will be.Its weird being without them and I have many moments where the pain is so very unbearable, but they are happy.......and as a good mom would do, that is first on the list, safe.happy&healthy........so, I still may be homeless, and jobless but not for very long.....I am going to make it. |
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| March27,2001 I got the job......I actually got it! I met with my direct manager today who maybe tried to scare me some with how hard it will be, the computer system is ancient, people that call will be down right mean and irate....and you know what? I convinced him that I can handle anything......and that he needed me....I am still so nervous, like did I really pull this off????????? yes I did. |
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| March29,2001 Okay, I have no reason to say, but I am so nervous. From the time that I get up in the morning til I fall asleep. Maybe its the job, or that I am starting to really get better and maybe it wont work out? Does that even make sense? I was supposed to see the dr yesterday, and they messed up the appt time and date, so its next wens.....and I hope that my stomach wont burn a hole from the burning sensation that I feel from my nerves. Maybe sometimes I am scared that I am going to get hit with some kinda major problem or that I will fall in some big hole in the sidewalk..anyway enough of that. That could be pretty funny if you think about it......It will all work out. Thanks to all with the good wishes, it was great to hear from you and see you in my guestbook as well...It sure does help alot. So if I dont fall in that big hole in the sidewalk, I will see you tomorrow |
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